10 Ways The Office Party Can Expose An Affair
The workplace ties with the Internet as the number one place where cheating spouses find someone with whom to have an affair. In one study, 73 percent of the men who had extramarital affairs met their partner at work. Workplace affairs are notoriously hard to detect unless they spill over into non-working hours. But all that changes at Christmas time. Christmas parties have a way of exposing workplace affairs.
That’s why you should attend your spouse’s office Christmas party if you suspect them of being romantically involved with someone on the job. This is one of the best opportunities you’ll have to find out if what you suspect is true. By watching your spouse interact with co-workers of the opposite sex, you may be able to tell if they’re having a workplace affair. You should even be able to pick out which workmate is their lover by the way they behave in one another’s presence. Their body language and behavior around each other will easily give them away. Knowing what to look for is the key.
FIRST GET INVITED
The first order of business is to make sure you get invited to your spouse’s office Christmas party. If he or she is involved in a workplace affair, they’ll probably try every trick in the book to ensure you don’t attend, including:
- Not inviting you, or even telling you that the annual Christmas party is taking place.
- Discouraging you from accompanying them by saying you’ll be bored, or feel out of place.
- Telling you the party is for employees only, when it’s not. Inviting you at the last possible minute, so you won’t have time to make arrangements to attend.
- Mentioning the Christmas party but not telling you when or where it’s being held.
- Telling you that because of the recession, their company is canceling the Christmas party this year.
THREE WAYS TO CIRCUMVENT HIS TACTICS:
1. Ask about the party early in December.
Find out when and where it’s being held.
2. Verify what they tell you by checking someone you know from their job, or the company’s HR or Personnel Department.
Prepare ahead of time for the big event. Have an outfit ready, and line up a sitter well in advance.
TIPS TO HELP NAVIGATE THE PARTY:
A company-sponsored social event like the annual Christmas party gives you a rare chance to observe your spouse interact in a social setting with coworkers of the opposite sex.
1. Introduce yourself to other employees and their guests.
Be friendly. Let them know who you are. Someone may be dying to tip you off you about your cheating spouse’s workplace affair. Every December I hear from women asking if it’s okay take a cheating co-worker’s wife aside at the Christmas party and tell her that her husband is having an affair.
2. Keep your eyes and ears open.
Ashlee noticed one of Richard’s female co-workers repeatedly glancing in their direction. Kelly, the woman in question was openly hostile towards Ashlee when they were finally introduced. Once, when Ashlee came back from the ladies room, she found Richard and Kelly in a corner of the room having in a heated discussion, which they abruptly broke off when Ashlee reappeared. By asking some discreet questions and comparing what she learned with what she already knew, Ashlee was able to confirm that Richard and Kelly were indeed having an affair.
3. Listen to the office gossip.
There’s no telling what you might overhear. One wife overheard the following comment about her husband at his company Christmas party: “That’s his wife? He’s married? But I thought he was seeing Maureen.”
4. Observe your spouse’s behavior and that of their workmates.
Knowing what to look for is the key.
5. Verify some of the things you’ve been told.
Engage others in casual conversation. You may find that your spouse’s boss knows nothing about all the overtime he or she claims to have been working, or the special project that has consumed all weekends for the past three months.
6. Confirm or disprove what you suspect.
Dawn finally got a chance to meet Estelle, the receptionist her husband Brian was always talking talked about. Much to Dawn’s relief, Estelle was a vivacious little gray-haired lady who worked part-time at the firm, and was old enough to be Brian’s mother.
7. Use the party to your advantage.
Make friends with some of the of his or her coworkers, or the spouses of other people at their job. Exchange phone numbers, if appropriate. It may come in handy one day.
ONE LAST REASON TO ATTEND:
Even if you don’t suspect a workplace affair, there’s another very important reason to attend your spouse’s office Christmas party. Christmas parties can be breeding grounds for workplace infidelity. One private investigation firm found that an affair with a co-worker is more likely to start at the annual holiday party than at any other time of the year. This is prime time for a work spouse relationship to progress to a workplace affair. Many employees view the company Christmas party as a time to let loose. One study estimated that 54 percent of office partygoers will be caught in amorous situations with co-workers. A number of these Christmas party flirtations will escalate into full-fledged workplace affairs. By attending the office Christmas party with your spouse, your presence may act as a deterrent and possibly keep a work spouse relationship from turning into a workplace affair.
