How To Get Out Of That Emotional Blackhole
You thought you married until death you do part. But for some reason, it just didn’t work out that way. After a divorce, it’s sometimes tough to move on emotionally. How do you get out of the emotional dark and get back to life again? Here are four tips to help.
1. If you gave it your best shot, and you know it’s over, don’t waste time in resentment and anger, it’s self-destructive.
Let go. Do your grieving, cry, journal, and talk with a trusted friend. Have a letting go ceremony with close friends, and say goodbye to your married life. Put reminders away for a while.
2. Don’t hesitate to get therapy.
It’s normal to need help as you go through this transition, so you can grieve what’s lost and move your focus on to building a good life in your new circumstance. And even if you’re the one who left, you’ve lost your hopes and dreams for this marriage, so you need healing, too. A professional viewpoint will help you move from past to present, and give you the tools you need to plan for the future.
3. Take care of yourself financially — a good lawyer can help you fight for your rights.
You’ll feel a lot less resentment if you get your fair share of the assets. In the meantime, if you haven’t already, begin setting up a budget. Avoid letting yourself go into debt while you are in a financially vulnerable situation.
4. This is an important time to have your friends or family around you; you need support.
Don’t isolate. You don’t have to go right out and date again (in fact, go slow with that) but you should have a social life with friends and family. Even if you don’t think you feel ready to see people, see your closest friends and spend time with them. They’ll help you heal, and remind you that you still have people in your life who love you.
