Imagination and Finances are the Key Factors in Post-Divorce Getaways
Shanny Lott’s divorce this summer still pains her. The Austin, Texas artist turned to travel to help clear her head and prepare her emotionally for the years ahead. She chose A Spa for the Soul, a sprawling west-Texas spa at the Red Corral Ranch, to share her grief in a setting that shattered life’s daily grind.
Breaking routine is the key, Lott and others say, and travel after divorce is a message she’s willing to share with others. “Divorce is identity-jarring and it is important to step back from the old person in order for the new one to emerge,” Lott says. Had she met Virgil O’Donnell after his divorce, she would have recommended he take a trip of some sort. The practice is becoming increasingly common as divorcees seek emotional and sometimes spiritual healing following one of life’s most painful experiences.
Imagination and finances are key factors in post-divorce getaways. Trips include jaunts to foreign destinations, places divorcees may only have dreamed about during their married years. Spas, ranches, or even a weeklong backpacking journey can break the familiar, give perspective and clear the mind for the journey ahead.
O’Donnell, a resident of tiny New Madison in southwest Ohio, faced mounting bills and debt when he divorced. He thought about travel but felt he’d compromise his financial future by taking a lavish trip. Today he is happily remarried but regrets not having the means to break away after his divorce went final.
Lott said the money — even a significant amount — is worth every penny to travel after divorce. “It is a practical thing to do,” she says. “What I mean is that it works.”
A Spa for the Soul facilitator Jennifer Tull agrees. As a family attorney, she witnessed the life-shattering experience and its effects on hundreds of divorcees over the years. Today she helps women at the ranch, located on 1,100 acres in the Texas hill country between Austin and San Antonio.
“People need this to get a new start and a new lease on life,” Tull says. “Our program is about getting your feet back under you — and how to keep it from happening again.”
Lott is so convinced of travel’s benefits after divorce that she goes against conventional financial wisdom, even advocating going into debt to take the trip.
“What a woman needs is to go whole hog out on herself. Most women are afraid to do this. They have lived such restricted lives,” she says. “I recommend at least two weeks in Europe — Barcelona would be my pick. It is the youngest, most vibrant city in all of Europe. Wide open, free and happy. That’s a great place to start a new life. I hate cheap trips. They are depressing.”
Dr. Darrell Kepler, a Christian minister, has witnessed the depression caused by divorce, and views travel as important. He has pastored at Baptist churches in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and Riverside, California — areas close to wonderful outdoor escapes.
After divorce, couples he had counseled went their separate ways — some to Hawaii, some to Las Vegas, many to outdoor camping venues, which offered an escape at more affordable prices. As a minister, he worked to help each couple resolve its issues. But when they couldn’t, he understood the value of travel after divorce.
“When an individual has any major life changes, divorce, death in the family, and sometimes even a birth, we tend to stress out,” Kepler says. “It is important to anyone at a point when they feel their world is crashing down around them that they get away.”
“We were not created to live this way. Even Jesus had to get away by Himself to be renewed,” says the current executive pastor of Hillcrest Baptist Church in Richmond, Indiana, referring to Matthew 14:22-23 in the bible.
In Minnesota, Jennifer Morris founded Daisy Camp after her divorce. A successful career woman, Morris said she had no idea what to expect or how to work through her divorce.
“I was least equipped to be making some of the most important decisions of my life,” Morris says. “When I got married I had a wedding planner. When I got divorced, there was no one to help me untie the knot, and I knew I couldn’t be the only person who didn’t know how to get divorced.” Hence her creation of Daisy Camp, a place she says is available to anyone who wants to be empowered during their divorce transition. Daisy Camp is a weekend retreat that provides financial, legal and experienced advice from qualified professionals. The first camp was held in March 2006.
Why does she believe it’s important to take a trip after divorce? “To remind yourself,” Morris explains, “that you’re worthy of happiness and joy.” And what better reason to get away?
ABOUT DAISY CAMP
“Daisy Camp will help you learn what you need to know so you are better informed and feel less vulnerable. Daisy Camp will give you the “nuts and bolts” that will take the guesswork and mystery out of your divorce. You will become empowered. When you leave, you’ll have a plan of action, ample resources, new friends, and a future full of possibilities! Daisy Camp is a call to action! Here, you will be reminded that you are worthy of happiness and joy. Daisy Camp will help you move forward and hold your hand as you walk out of the darkness into the light. How bad will it get before you start planning for your ever-expanding life? I invite you to attend and begin your future now!” —from www.daisycamp.org
A SPA FOR THE SOUL
Jennifer Tull spent two decades representing women during arguably the most painful period of their lives: divorce. The family lawyer from Austin, Texas, noticed a significant gap in what the legal system offered people. “We were emotionally leaving them worse off before they came in and that didn’t feel good,” Tull said. “I decided I would provide a place for women to go and get the kind of healing that’s available if they have the right guidance.”
Tull decided to start — and continues to help lead — A Spa for the Soul, a retreat where women can escape after divorce or the end of a relationship, evaluate their station in life, gain insights into preventing the same mistakes from reoccurring, and make plans to create a more successful relationship.
Tull says she started the program with an emphasis on women because “there seemed to be a bigger need there” and women are more willing, in general, to put in the kind of work expected at the retreat. “The program is about getting your feet back under you,” Tull says. “It’s not just for divorce but for empty nesters, career changers, singles who have not been married — all those situations tend to catch you off balance. This is to show you how to keep it from happening again.”
The company originated in 1998 with its first retreat and typically conducts four to six seminars a year. Most are held at the Red Corral Ranch, a 1,100-acre spread in the Texas hill country between Austin and San Antonio. Tull and her staff also will bring the program to clients upon request. Sessions at the ranch begin Thursday evening and conclude at noon Sunday. For $1,350, not counting airfare, clients receive food, lodging, daily massage, yoga, and transportation to and from Austin airport. “The all-encompassing price was designed to eliminate excuses and address those obstacles before they arise, Tull said.
Former client Shanny Lott said her experience at the retreat reminded her that she’s not a victim. “Jennifer (Tull) let me grieve and then move on in a very short period of time,” Lott said. “I do not enjoy being in an unhappy state.”
Tull’s efforts have been noticed across the country. Her spa is recommended by Jennifer Morris, founder of Daisy Camp in Minnesota. “It’s a wonderful place to visit,” she said of the Texas retreat. —from Redcorralranch.com
