Health: New Hairstyle Can Help You Improve Your Outlook During Divorce
Emotionally, recovering from a divorce isn’t easy. But for some people, a simple visit to the salon is the first step in moving on. “I had one woman who was divorcing after15 years of marriage and her hair [had been] long during the entire marriage,” said Erica Carr, stylist at The Barber Lounge in San Francisco, California. She had considered cutting it before she had children, but her then-husband gave her such a hassle when she mentioned the idea. I gave her a classic bob with long flippy layers. She had never looked better. “I finally saw the confidence that was trapped under all the hair she was hiding behind.”
Do you want a new hairstyle but are afraid of losing too much length? On some people, highlights or vibrant color can be just as dramatic as a new cut. “A client of mine broke off her engagement to a man she had been dating for four years,” said Marie Hansen, owner of MarieMarieSalon in Atlanta, Georgia. “She had always had blonde highlights, and when they broke up, we colored her hair chocolate brown. Brown definitely suited her better than blonde, so she looked stunning. Everyone at her work loved it and so she had positive affirmation from all her friends in the middle of a rough time. I believe it helped her feel better about her decision.”
“Women aren’t the only ones who benefit from a post-divorce haircut. Men need to feel as if they are different than when they were with their wives,” said Marjorie Hope Rothstein, owner of Starting Over Services, a residential makeover service for men. “Getting a new hairstyle is a good start. Like women, men need a change in their appearance to feel uplifted.”
New York City family and marriage therapist Rachel Sussman agrees with Rothstein. She also feels that a new look can help a person move on after a breakup. Often after a divorce our self-esteem can take a bit of a hit — especially if the divorce is acrimonious,” she says. “Therefore it’s important to have time to regroup and take care of ourselves.”
However, Sussman recommends taking precautions in order to avoid being disappointed by an unflattering hairstyle. “Taking a subtle approach and going to a reputable salon will minimize the chance that you may not be happy with your new look,” she says.
Instead of drastically changing your style, Sussman suggests starting with a smaller change that might be easier to accept. A frank discussion with your stylist can also help you achieve favorable results. “If you want to make sure you can go forward with a cut or color and are not sure of what you want, make a consultation appointment,” says M.J. Niven, owner of Vine Street Salon in Berkeley, California. “A good stylist will listen, analyze your hair and be able to tell you what is realistic or not.”
Are you unsure how to describe your desired look? Hansen suggests findings pictures of people who have hairstyles that you like. Bring the pictures to your stylist for a consultation and he or she will be able to tell you if it is an achievable [color] for you.
Finally, remember to leave yourself open to the unanticipated opportunities that your new look might bring. “I had a client [whose] husband had just asked her for a divorce,” says Edward, owner of Edward’s Salon in Mill Valley, California. “I cut it very short on the sides and back and really texturized the top. After she got dressed I walked right passed her and didn’t recognize her. I’ve never seen such a transformation.”
“Five months later, the client was dating a model. We all talked about her and what a huge change she had gone through,” he says.
YOU SAY BROWN, YOUR STYLIST SAYS BRUNETTE
Have you ever asked for auburn highlights but ended up with carrot-colored tresses? This glossary of color terms will help you ensure that your hair isn’t lost in translation.
Buttery: “This yellow shade has a very golden tone to it, like Nicole Richie,” says Hansen.
Ash: A cool-toned hue, ash is used to describe any tone of hair from brown to blonde. Because ash colored hair absorbs light, it generally does not have much shine.
Strawberry: “Ask for this color if you want mostly blond with skinny streaks of light red — like peppermint patty kids,” says Carr.
Platinum: “This lightest cool blonde shade is generally achieved with bleach,” says Niven. Think Gwen Stefani or Jean Harlow.
Auburn: “Ask for auburn if you want a natural-looking darker red,” says Edward.
FINDING THE RIGHT CUT FOR YOUR FACE
The bob that looks amazing on your best friend might not be the right cut for you. Here’s a guide to matching your face shape with your haircut.
You have a heart-shaped face if you have “a wide forehead with a narrow chin,” says Carr. To balance out your features, try a bob with bangs or face framing layers.
You have a round face if your chin and forehead are full and lack hard angles. The best cut for you is one that ends below the chin “and juts at or above the collarbones with soft layers” says Niven.
If you have a long face, “get face framing layers in any length from the chin down” says Carr.
Count yourself blessed if you have an oval face with an even proportion between the nose, hairline, and chin. “This face shape can wear just about anything,” says Niven.
