Wondering If Counseling Will Help Save Your Marriage?
Is your marriage in trouble? Do you worry that you’re headed for a divorce? Are you and your spouse talking about marriage counseling? Do you wonder if it can work for you? Experts say, yes, but only if you want it, too.
“You need a good counselor who knows couples therapy, but it can work wonders,” said Tina Tessina, Ph.D., author of the new book, “Money, Sex, and Kids,” which helps couples focus on how to deal with differences in the three areas that cause many marital problems.
Marriage counseling can help couples to determine if they can have a healthy relationship,” said Dr. Jay P. Granat, a psychotherapist, author and founder of StayInTheZone.com. “It can also help couples to understand what old tapes they are bringing to the relationship which are poisonous to the marriage. Marital therapy can save marriages and keep families in tact. It can also help people to realize when it is time to move on.”
According to East Carolina University Professor David Knox, a marriage and family expert, there are more than 20 different treatment approaches used by members of American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. About 31 percent of therapists use either a behavioral or cognitive-behavioral approach to counseling couples, which means a therapist focuses on what behaviors the respective spouses want to be increased or decreased and negotiate those changes between the partners.
WHEN MARRIAGE COUNSELING WORKS
According to divorce expert Dr. Mark Goulston, a business advisor, coach, and clinical psychiatrist, you and your spouse should try marriage counseling if both partners are:
1. More commited to making the situation better than being right.
2. Able and willing to admit they’re wrong.
3. Able and willing to say “Thank you” and “I’m sorry” and mean it.
4. Do what say they’ll do and pay consequences if they don’t.
5. Listen more than they talk.
