Parents who become sole providers of a home with growing children often feel an extra burden. They must often worry about money at the same time they are trying to parent and plan for the future.
In the United States, courts and family assistance providers have agreed that both parents must be held financially accountable for providing for children’s basic need for food, clothing, and shelter. But sometimes it’s a challenge to engage both parents, especially those who are estranged from their children, in the financial support process.
The Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA) was created to track and enforce which court has the ability to make custody and child support decisions for any child in the U.S. The UCCJEA recognizes that a state has decision-making authority if a child and one of the child’s parents have resided in that state for six months prior to any custody proceeding. If no state meets the requirement, then a decision is made based upon where the child and at least one parent have the most significant connections family, job, etc. This evidence determines issues of custody and child support.
Once the state with decision-making authority is determined, then that state may involve itself in decisions about care and support of children. This can be with or without the cooperation and agreement of parents, depending on certain circumstances. Most parents find themselves faced with confusing facts and opinions about child support when they start through the divorce process. It’s important to understand the general purpose and intent of child support.
Traditional marriage roles meant a mother stayed home, especially with younger children, while a father was employed to earn income to support the entire family. Some major changes have occurred in the last few decades. One, we understand more about the psychology of parenting and children’s bonding and attachment phases. This has taught us the importance of both parents in children’s lives. Second, women who were traditionally at-home caregivers are now able and encouraged to participate in income-earning activities. Also, while mothers once tended to traditionally to be primary caretakers, many fathers have taken over that role and are staying at home and providing hands-on daily care for the needs of children, even infants.
Modern child support decisions are made by the court considering both parent’s resources and incomes, and evaluating those in relationship to the amount of time each child spends with each parent, the housing arrangements of each parent, the basic needs of each child, and the lifestyle the children became accustomed to while their parents were married. Basic needs include food, clothing, and shelter. In addition, many states include some guidelines for health care and work-related childcare costs. Lifestyle decisions are incorporated when there are calculations that increase or decrease child support, or one or both parent’s incomes increase or decrease.
States vary in how they establish child support. When parents share the basic provisions for children and have relatively equal incomes and resources, many states recognize that fact by requiring no child support monies be exchanged. On the other hand, when one party maintains a home and more frequent care of the children and the other party primarily visits with the children, it is agreed that the party who is more involved with employment, with less caretaking responsibilities, should provide ongoing monies for the parent who has more caretaking responsibilities.
In addition, some states have decided that monetary responsibility ends at the time a child turns 18 or graduates from high school, while other states incorporate ongoing education (college) or special needs provisions in childcare calculations.
If you’re a divorcing parent, it may be helpful for you to sit down and create an actual budget that figures in the real expenses involved in day-to-day child raising, specific to your own children. Fact-based decision making is always easier than decisions made on assumptions or generalizations. Many parents find themselves surprised, and more understanding of child support guidelines, once they have seen at least an initial overview of what they have been spending on their children up to and until the time of divorce. Then deciding what is needed to continue to support the children adequately can be easier.
Creating children creates responsibility for both parents. Educating yourself about how child support calculations are made, and researching the specifics of child support guidelines in your state, can help you plan. Looking realistically at expenses is essential to planning for your own and your children’s futures.
