How would others describe me?

During the four decades I have worked as a family mediator, clients have thanked me for providing a calm, wise, and positive presence in the midst of the storms they were experiencing. Perhaps the best description from a client was:  “You were a perfect guide dog.  After asking us where we wanted to go, we told you we wanted a peaceful divorce, that did not hurt our children, and you got us there, without forcing us, without taking sides, but with compassion and clear direction.  We’re still not sure how you did it, but it worked and we are still friends.”

Why choose me as a private judge?

I left the practice of family law in 1980 to build a full time divorce mediation practice because I realized that as a gladiator for one side, I was helping the legal contest hurt families by keeping them mired in the conflict of the past, when they instead need to begin building new plans for the future. I have co-authored five books on family mediation and am excited about my most recent one that puts child support decisions in the hands of both parents, not the court or government.  As a Private Judge I help ensure that fair agreements are reached and owned by those who participate in the process.  I ease the pain of divorce by efficiently and compassionately helping people through one of the most difficult times of their lives. 

What are my top values?

I believe that families who divorce are trying to make things better, not worse.  I will be honest and compassionate in the way I lead people to their desired end point. I try to always carry with me these values: empathy for others, listening to understand, and an ability to be honest when explaining alternative paths.  Most importantly, I value the self-determination of the people who become my clients, because they know best about what they need.

What are some fun facts about me?

Had I not gone to law school, I would have likely followed the advice of my creative writing professor who urged me to attend the Iowa Writers Workshop at the University of Iowa. These days, I love helping my grandchildren write papers and book reports for school.  In 1968, I married my wife Marilyn and we travelled to New York were I attended Union Seminary and Marilyn worked as a social worker in Harlem.  Now, I live in northern Minnesota on the state’s second deepest lake where I conduct training workshops and do my work with families exclusively by Zoom.  I am wondering that if I ever retire, would they still accept me at the Iowa Writers Workshop?