Why does ritual play such an important role in our lives, and why should you consider a ritual when a marriage ends?
Don’t laugh a ritual symbolizing the end of a marriage can be as important and powerful as the ritual we observed to begin it. Marriage rituals are big business, and with the multiple-marriage factor in play today, it’s really big business. But for many, the thought of participating in a ritual to end a relationship may be considered pointless or not considered at all. Rather than looking at your divorce as a failure, why not consider it a chance for a new beginning, a rite of passage?
Rituals are tied to our emotions and emotions speak directly to our heart and that can be powerfully healing. Divorce is one of the most difficult and tumultuous times in someone’s life. A person needs to grieve for such a great loss, as deeply as when a loved one is lost to death. The ritual of a funeral can be a time for letting go, saying goodbye and preparing to move on. Why not do the same for your marriage, by acknowledging its end and the beginning of your new life ahead?
A divorce ritual can be a healthy way to look back on the good times, to apologize and forgive each other for any unkind actions or negative feelings, and offer mutual blessings and hope for the future. In our research we came across a philosophy that seems insightful and wise: Take responsibility for the right to be happy, rather than the need to be right. This is a truly positive way to move on with an empowering perspective, giving you the firm footing you need to start anew with a positive outlook.
Wevorce is a firm believer in the power of ritual and we have developed a special ending to our divorce mediation process. It is our hope that it sets the tone for forgiveness and happiness as couples separate and start individual lives, and provides a strong foundation for co-parents and children to thrive in their new family structure. Our ritual reaffirms what we believe, and the words are our gift for any to use who seek resolution and peace when ending their marriage.
Begin Again
Today we must say goodbye,
our life as we knew it ending.
Let us not forget we once loved
let us not forget all that was good between us.
Allow us to cherish memories without anger
and bitterness distorting them.
May we teach each other how to forgive
how to heal our aching hearts.
To find strength to move beyond what we had become
and not dwell upon it.
As we find our separate paths,
let us show kindness and goodness towards one another.
Content to look forward,
the hope of happiness within us as we begin again.
by Fela Dawson Scott
Wevorce writer and believer
