Divorce has a tendency to suck the life from you it can be a chore just to get out of bed each morning. You’re dealing with an overabundance of emotions; it’s likely not a time that you feel like being social. You may want to hide away, feel unable to face family and friends. This is exactly why it’s so important to include those close to you in your life. They can be a tremendous help to you when the simplest task can seem insurmountable. Yet, common sense is something to consider at this time as well. There are some things to keep in mind when going through a divorce.
First, and probably one of the most important rules to follow avoid social media. Now is not the time to post your personal life or attack your soon-to-be-ex on Facebook or Twitter. In fact, social media is often used in divorce cases as evidence. Once it’s out there, there is no turning back. It’s there for anyone to see, anyone to use. Consider that before you post anything publicly. Better yet, avoid it altogether during a divorce.
Too much company is as harmful as too little. Being alone can be a great time for self-reflection. You will need to rediscover who you are and what you want in life. It’s never too soon to start on this journey, begin your new life and create a bright future. You don’t need to fill every second of your day to keep from being lonely. Be sure to include the quiet moments where you can learn to be your own best friend.
The loss of your marriage will take you through the many stages of grief, and this is where family and friends can be a great support group. Professional help may also be necessary to achieve a well balanced and productive beginning. Don’t be afraid to seek it out.
Allow yourself permission to sufficiently deal with the emotional upset. Don’t rush the journey or ignore it. Each one of us reaches the end at our own pace.
You may find some friends are not as understanding as you’d expected, or are no longer compatible. Maybe you had friends as a couple, now you suddenly don’t have as much in common. As you teeter on the soon-to-be single front, some distance may happen with old friends, and some may drop out of your life entirely. It’s natural. Perhaps new friends can bring new perspective to your life.
However, this is not the time to look for new love. During divorce or even right after, should be a time for finding a sense of self, to understand your own complex being. Don’t be too quick to jump back into a serious relationship. You might just be searching for someone to give you a new identity, rather than doing the hard work on your own. But how can you find your soul-mate until you understand and are able to present the person you were meant to be to others?
Divorce is devastating. It can leave you broken and hurt. The biggest challenge is to heal and move forward. But you can and you will. Remember, be patient and take the time you need to discover your true self; build your self-esteem and confidence; and determine how you wish to approach your new life, hopefully with renewed purpose and excitement. You may just surprise yourself with a happy ending.
