How You Snuggle at Night Can Give Hints about the Health of your Marriage
Do you like to snuggle up to your honey under the covers, or are you the type who needs your space? Your behavior in bed may be trying to tell you something important about the health of your relationship.
“The way partners share a bed says a huge amount how much they really like each other, trust and feel safe with each other,” says Dr. Mark Goulston of the University of California. “Analyzing sleep positions can highlight trouble spots they may not even be aware of.”
Recognizing what these unconscious signs indicate can help couples iron out problems before they reach a crisis, Goulston adds.
1. The Spoon.
One partner cuddled up to the back of the other is the most common position in the first few years of a relationship. It implies physical trust and a feeling of complete emotional safety. “For many couples the Spoon is a comforting cocoon,” says Baltimore psychologist and marital therapist Shirley Glass.
2. The Lovers Hug.
Typically the man is on his back with his arm around his partner and her head on his shoulder. Utter contentment is the hallmark here. “You’re literally being brought in under the wing,” Glass says. “It’s a very nurturing position.”
3. The Hooked Leg.
Casually touching your partner with your foot or leg indicates a healthy camaraderie. “They are showing a need for closeness as well as a desire to maintain individuality,” Goulston says.
4. Back to Back.
Faced away from each other with only your buttocks touching allows a private connection without clinging. “Like two circles, separate but overlapping, this position is a perfect definition of interdependence,” Glass contends.
5. The Pursuit.
If your partner moves to the far side of the bed and you pursue, it’s not necessarily a bad sign. “The partner who distances may actually want to be pursued,” says Glass. “It’s a test.”
6. Opposite Sides.
If there’s an ocean of sheet between you, closeness is fading and stress is building between you. “They’re avoiding a lot of issues and don’t trust each other,” says Goulston. “They are probably thinking, ‘What am I doing here?'”
7. Baby on Board.
If one partner continually brings the kid to bed, he or she may be expressing a fear of intimacy. Erecting this barrier is a way to prevent meaningful discussion of important issues. They must talk about why they feel this and work towards feeling comfortable,” Goulston advises.
8. Fido Invasion.
If your mate plops your pet between you in bed every night, it’s time to sit down and have a little talk. “He or she needs more affection, fears rejection and wants to put a barrier between themselves and a partner,” Goulston explains.
