From Home to Work or Work to Home, Stress Can Hurt Marriage
Stress from a divorce can easily transform into stress at work.And stress from work can easily transform into stress at home that causes a divorce, experts say.
When going through his divorce, George Stewart of Silver Spring, Md., said he felt very stressed about the breakup.He didn’t want the people at work to know how he felt. “Usually, I try not to let something like that bother my job performance, but I thought about it all the time,” he said.
He’s not the only person who has let the stress of divorce follow him to work. “Any time you’re under stress at home, it puts you under stress at work,” said Linda Terry, a social worker in Hermiston, Ore.And it can have a real effect on your performance. “People might have difficulty concentrating. They might have fluctuating moods, or they might be more fragile emotionally.”
In addition, work stress can cause the stress at home, which leads to the divorce, and more stress at work, according to Workaholics Anonymous, which has support groups in 30 cities around the country.
The group believes that workaholics use work to get approval, find their identity and justify their existence. In addition, workaholics use work to “escape their feelings,” neglecting their health, wellbeing and relationships. It preaches self love as a way to overcome the stress workaholics place on themselves.
Stewart, whose family stress followed him to work, said he managed his stress by talking to others, “real close friends – some people who were going through the same situation or have gone through the same situation,” he said.
That’s one way to counter the stress. Terry suggested several others.”…The main thing is to make sure you’re taking care of yourself. Eating right, sleeping right. You have to get your sleep, or you’ll be stressed. Make sure that you’re exercising regular and doing stress reducers, like meditation,” she said.
“If you aren’t getting enough sleep the right way, you can ask for a prescription for sleep medications. Also, try to reduce issues as effectively as possible with your spouse, and whether that’s seeing a counselor or going to an attorney to resolve your differences,” Terry said.
In the end, while the divorce put him under a lot of stress at work, Stewart said he didn’t think it hurt himin the workplace.”I worked at the same job for a long time until it went out of business,” he said. “I always worked my hardest. It [stress from the divorce] didn’t get to me.”
